solesurvivor: (Default)
TITLE || John Shepard, Alliance Marine
MILITARY SPECIALIZATION || Infiltrator
PRE-SERVICE HISTORY || Earth-born
PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE || Sole Survivor

hello this is commander shepard

he is a paragon

he is like the most paragonly paragon to ever have paragoned, which means he went down every goddamn paragon choice that he could and stuck to that and do you think that was easy, because really, it was not

here are a small selection of the things that shepard didn't do

he did not punch any news reporters
he did not insult any big stupid jellyfish
he did not break lieutenant-bastard kai leng's blade, that son of a bitch
he did not insult Han'Gerrel (he really wanted to insult Han'Gerrel)
he did not romance anyone until very, very late

to be fair the last one had more to do with shepard being sort of gay and not being aware that romance with anyone was actually an option rather than him deliberately choosing anything else, but even if he had been aware he would probably have chosen not to because work comes first, galaxy arrives in second and personal issues roll in at a very distant third.

and here's the thing, every time shepard makes a choice he isn't choosing to be a paragon, he's choosing not to be a renegade, and no one is as aware of how close he is to that edge, that line where he snaps and goes no, he knows best, he's going to get this done himself, and anyone else who disagrees with him can just fall in line- though the main reason he doesn't say that is because Saren said it and so did the Illusive Man and if there ever were examples to learn from, that would be them.

he's not a bad guy, because he chooses not to be. that doesn't mean he's a good guy. this is the man who, in his own words, sacrificed hundreds of human lives to save the Destiny Ascension. he unleashed the Rachni on the galaxy. so if you go up against him, for your sake, you'd better hope your escape plan doesn't hinge on him hesitating to shoot a damn hostage.

...though if it does, it'd probably be a pretty good plan, provided you can see through the bluff that was and there aren't any asari standing around waiting to throw a table at your head.

all in all shepard... tries. he might have nothing left (but the fate of the world on his shoulders) but he tries. it's one of the only things that's really ever separated him out from the rest of the world, the fact that on top of just trying he's one of the few people who really managed to stay alive through it all. and until the reaper threat is well and truly taken care of-

he'll keep moving. he always has. always will. and maybe if he's lucky and gets out of this (if he gets out of this), Kaidan Alenko will be waiting for him once he's through to the other side of this mess.

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Cmdr Shepard

February 2023

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